Last weekend I attended the 10th YFC MetroManila Conference. This was my 9th MetroCon, goes to show how long I've been in this community. Personally there's a lot of pressure that I feel inside. I've attended all the past MetroCons and truth be told some of them, I only went to because I had to. On my 3rd MetroCon I was asked to be a part of the production team and a few MetroCon's after I've been a staple face in the stage. After sometime, I guess something inside of me died and I turned my back on prod dance. (well this is another story all together) and MetroCon was just an annual thing for me, I had nothing to look forward to anyway, once again I will be a member listening to the talks and taking care of my members.
Lets backtrack to mid-September. Its when I started to feel that I'm on my lowest. Self-Doubt. Self-confidence down the drain, frustrations, disappointments and a lot of things just seem to not happen my way. I mean, can't life just give me some slack. For some reason I felt so lost that I don't know who I was or what was I suppose to do. I'm so confused that even I couldn't really share it to other people without having to explain so much and that was the things I didn't want to explain it 'cause it hurts even more. In short, I wasn't happy.
Fast forward to the third week of October. I was asked by a friend how I was and as much as I wanted to cover up what I was exactly feeling-- I flat out said that I was sad most of the time. I am happy when I'm around people but when I'm alone I just seem as lost and confused as how the day started. It feels weird though. Then I was really looking forward to the MetroCon there was just something about this conference that made me really want to be there, it seemed like I knew from the very start that I needed this and that God wanted me to be there; strange thing was I was really frustrated and disappointed that a couple of the YFC's that I wanted to be there but wouldn't be able to go. I wanted them to be there because I knew they needed it plus the fact that it would be extra enjoyable given that they are the people that I spend most of my time in YFC with. I swear I just wanted to like cry and put sense to people but in the end its their decision and maybe it really was part of God's plan.
Lets go back to real time. As I said earlier, this MetroCon was like it was meant for me to listen to. It was as if that God really dragged me to that field, and made me listen to every single word the speakers, worship leaders said. I was asked by the same friend how MetroCon was and how was I feeling and I told him that this conference was for me. It was that personal and to prove to him my point I really quoted him 2 of the strongest lines of the night for me..
"We lose sight of God's victory when we experience disappointments from failed expectations"
"We often get disappointed when we don't receive the same amount of love we give"
... and he really did agree. I could tell you the jist of the talks and the whole conference but I wouldn't. I just wanted to share what God made me realize just this weekend. Sometimes we will feel pain along the journey but we must not be burdened, we may fight our battles alone along the way but we do not need to worry, because these are nothing compared to the victory that we will receive beyond the horizon; that through every battle HE IS THERE. All He is asking of us is to trust and totally surrender in His name and He will be there for us. The pains and suffering, that we are put to are just means of making us stronger.
This years theme was Be. Live. Love. Like Jesus and the only way for us to be Like Jesus is if we totally surrender to God's plans. If we are TRUST and HONEST in our faith, we bring PASSION and CONVICTION to the things we do and we show DISCIPLINE and OBEDIENCE in our life. Easier said than done yes, but then we have God so why do we even worry right? This conference challenged us to Be Like Jesus, no we don't have to die on the cross, just by our little ways we can be like Him, we just have to share to everyone our Jesus experience everyday.
Having been at the conference sure made me feel better and made me feel that I can be better. The challenge was to be like Jesus, and I accepted that challenge. His victory is at hand, we will all be victorious FOR and BECAUSE of him. Its an amazing feeling to be re-assured by God in all things. I surrender everything to the Lord and will work myself on becoming Like Jesus. It would take time, one step at a time, but it will happen.
And since I am at the topic of the MetroCon, let me share my pictures with my crazy cluster and the reasons why I always have a blast when I am with them. God will not let me fight on my own and these people are those that I will be victorious with. :)
Until next year! For now, lets all strive to Lead, Serve, Pray, Speak, Live and Love like Jesus.
xoxo, MCV. :)
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