The Year That Was

I don't know where to begin my year-end closer for this year. Too many things happened, too many thoughts realized and right now, I couldn't feel any more blessed and happy with where I am. May not be the best place as of the moment, but definitely better than before.

Two years post college, I had the chance to experience what real life is. This year, the questions such as what to wear and whats the name of that guy on the other side of the room seemed too trivial. This year, I had a first taste of being a legit big girl out in the wild trying to survive. My petty problems all of a sudden became big girl obstacles. Whats the best fit work, what am I still doing here, why am I here in the first place etc.

2013 was a leap of faith, more than anything it asked me to learn to trust. Trust myself and what I am capable of and more improtantly to have my faith secured in God and his promises in my life. But apart from this, what made it better was the chance to get in touch with myself. It is when I finally realized what I want for my life, why I don't need to settle for what is present and instead seek for what I truly deserve.

Personally though, I believe that what really set this year apart was the abundance of people I met along the way. Those that really made this year colorful. New acquaintances and friends, reconnecting with the old ones and staying true to the ones that never left. Forgiving those that has caused me pain and starting over again. This year, was more than the things I was able to do or those that O was able to acquire. This year, went past moments and instead are full of memories.

Looking back, this year wasn't perfect not even close but thats what makes it even more meaningful, the effects it has left us with, the longing to be better, to want more than what we had and we have the lessons from years past to guide us along the way.

So heres to the memories made, the scars and bumps along the way. And may the coming year be even better than 2013. Cheers! ;)

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It truly is the month of December. 

People associate this month with goodness. People tend to be more generous of sorts. 

This week, I've had car problems for 2 different days. On each instance, a stranger, didn't even blink to extend me some help. That maybe the upside of not having a tinted car, people notice how helpless you are inside the car. Truthfully though, I was hesitant to take any help from strangers. With the endless possibilities of what might happen and me looking extremely lost, I could easily be taken advantage of. But I was fortunate enough to have really good people come to my rescue. 

Maybe that's what this month brings to all of us, we get to be a little more giving. We tend to be hopeful. We tend to be more loving. I for one, had a renewed faith in people. Somewhere deep down, people, are innately good. Sad thing is, this may also be because of what we call the 'Christmas Spirit'. I hope not, because really what is the point of celebrating Christmas if we afford to do at least 1 good deed a day. 

And, btw, I now owe you two, universe.

So I guess its true what they say, that when the lights close and the dust settles, thats when you feel the most. Happiness is measured by moments. Joy is the peace in your heart. Find the latter.

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Love knows love. I feel so blessed that I am able to experience Gods love through my friends. To be able to witness these people grow and share our lives with each other. Really, if God brings people together, all you could feel is genuine love. I love and am thankful for my A3 family.

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Dear self,

You may not have figured out that one thing you can stick with for the rest of your life, but don't fret, you still have time. Your life has become a series of trial and errors as it should be, but just like math equations once you've figured it out, it would all seem easier. Well we hope for that, because other times there are extra variables that comes into play, and still you can get around it just like the many other times you did in the past. Remember, you should never rush anything, its like finding a solution, it is a tedious task, but once you get the final answer, it will all be worth it.

Love, self

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First Week.

So I just had my first ever week for my first ever legit job. Yup. I have been doing work here and there for short periods but now, thankfully I have a contract to hold and a job for the next 6 months at least.

The word 'busy' doesn't even start to describe my first week. When I came in the office last Monday, little did I know that we'll have an actual event that Wednesday. Wild. I was forced to learn how they do things as I do them. I was like a kid thrown in the pool and had to learn to swim on my own.

Here's a few things I realized on my first week. The things I might hold on to, for a really really long time.

1. It is important to have a working relationship but not as important as having a personal one. Meaning I don't have to get attached to every single person in the office but its a must to create relationships for a harmonious work environment. From the officemates to the suppliers.
2. The people you deal with has different personalities. It is up to you on how to deal with them. My suggestion though is to not just 'tolerate' them. Do your part, stand up for yourself if you must but always go for the more peaceful route. Again, remember to have a healthy working relationship. If you cant keep anything to yourself anymore, vent it in the proper place.
3. Endure. Endure long hours of work, the mountain of work, the sleepless nights. Somehow in the end, you'll be happy to see the results of a job well done.
4. Everything has its own pros and cons. Its just a matter of looking at it with the right perspective. Never let the negative over power the positive.
5. If it doesn't satisfy or serve you anymore, leave. Theres no use of pushing yourself too hard for things thay doesn't make you happy.
6. There are still a lot of things to know. What is taught in school is never enough. It just guides you on what to do or at the very least what to expect. Remember experience is the best teacher so never be afraid to experience new things.
7. In the real world, shit gets real and you only have yourself to depend on. Make sure you have 0 room for error and if you commit mistakes learn from it.
8. Never let the words of colleagues affect you, if shes going over board, put her in her place. Remember your well-being is still of utmost importance.

So heres to the next few months and what it may bring. For now, I'll go ahead and experience more.

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Answered Prayer

I sometimes wish I could see how my life is from up top. Sometimes, I wish I had better control on things that I was going to happen to me. Then I realize, that life isn't really how we see it. We could only see up to a certain distance and at some point we are lead to detours. We face fork roads & crossroads. I grew up in an environment where as much as things were heavily dependent on you, it is as well, I understood, that my life has a grandeur scheme, that was designed especially for me. Recently, I was reminded that the big guy up there, was in control of my life. I had to trust Him and that all He needed for me was to be ready to face what was headed my way. There are moments in ones life, when you just stop and thank the Lord. I believe this is one of those moments, where all I can say, was Thank you God, for making a way for me. Now, let me kick ass ;)

Rains and Floods

This was a long pending post. I couldn't seem to find words to finish this one, for a totally different context but now, being stuck here at home, I feel that I finally found the words I need, to make sense of the thoughts in my head. 

Today, parts of the country is once again submerged in water. Roads are impassable, dams overflowing, flooded roads, classes and work suspended, classrooms and other buildings are now turned into evacuation centers. So many of our countrymen, stranded, unsafe and feeling cold.

This isn't the first time that we got to experience this. Back in 2009, we experienced Ondoy. We thought, that it could never happen again, but as years gone by, there's always that news of flooding in different parts of our country and it always seemed worse than the year before that. Year in and year out, relief operations are being conducted. Why haven't we learned our lesson yet? Why do we still see ourselves in the situations over and over again?

Life is a series of cause and effects. One thing leads to A that creates B and eventually causes C. This is where crisis planing goes into play. If you think about it, hindi lang ang flooding ang kailangan solusyunan. If you look at the bigger pictures, there are more pressing issues that needs to be addressed. Thats the thing with mapping out situations, it opens up more problems, we all find the roots to these effects.

As much as the relief operations provide a short term solution to all of this, I think its time that concrete steps are taken to address this problem. Hindi pwede na sa bawat bagyong papasok sa PAR eh maprapraning ang lahat sa kung anong posibleng mangyari. We all know we have the funds for this, we could only pray and hope that these are put to its proper use.

So while I'm at it, lets do our part in helping those in need. We have been blessed to have a roof on our heads and have access to the internet, be in a more comfortable state that most of our fellow countrymen, maybe its about time that we become a blessing to other people. It always feels great to know that you spent your time and put in your efforts into something that changes lives; to feel relevant and to be part of a group that brings hope and light to others, to have so little of yourself be part of something big.

FIBA Experience

Earlier this month, the Philippines hosted the FIBA Asia Championship. The podium finishers here, get to join the FIBA Worlds happening in Spain next year. Its pretty much a big deal especially for the country that loves the sport. Add to that we being the host also doubles the pressure to finish on top.

I was settled with just watching the games on TV since I knew that it was hard to score tickets. Then one day, my friends and I finally decided to watch the games live, given that we get tickets, we'll head to MoA to experience FIBA.

The first game we saw live was the game against Jordan. It took us 2 hours to get to MoA, re-routing several times on the way, since the traffic was really bad. It was halfway through the 1st quarter that we got to the Arena, but still we were so chill about it. I even remember mentioning, that we don't need to panic since its just the 1st quarter we can still take our time. When we went inside, we found that our guys were down, then it seemed like on cue, our boys made a run. My sister was all, 'hindi pa pala exciting yung game ha'. Come the third quarter, our boys, came out blitzing making most of their shots, and indulging us, with some game highlights. I think of all the times that I've been watching basketball, this is the only time that I got really tired after cheering for 3 straight basketball minutes. Nakakaubos ng energy, but at the same time, nakakakilig how much faith people have in our team. And its a whole different feeling being one with the crowd cheering for the same team. I'd usually cheer for the less popular teams, so yes, this is a welcome thing in my life. The night ended with us winning. Yay! We're on the right track people.

We missed the next couple of games. The one they lost again Chinese-Taipei, the game verses Japan, Qatar and Hong Kong that gave us the number 1 seed in our group. The next game was versus Kazakhstan. It happened to coincide with the first leg of the Philpop Concert Series. So what we (Joy, Kam, Kris, Ace and I) did was right after the show, we rushed to nearest place where the game was being shown, to just watch and maybe have dinner too. It was so much fun, a different experience altogether! We won the game and was heading to the semis. It was during the post game conversations that I realized that we might face Korea in the semis. That very country that always curtails our chances. This for me was also the most important game of the whole tournament. A win against the Koreans will give us the ticket to Spain. So it was definitely a game worth travelling to MoA for.

During the game versus Korea, it can be said that the crowd was more tensed, I couldn't blame them since it was an all important game, and Korea was the nemesis, the team where we always fell short. Everybody was hoping for a win. We were down for most of the first half, when we got back just like the match versus Jordan, we had a blazing start in the third and that helped shift the momentum on our side. It was a close game, and I was in tears in the dying minutes when I was slowly realizing that we can actually win. More than grinding out a win against these Koreans, it was the fact that we are heading to Spain that made me tear up and scream and jump up and down. It was the most surreal basketball moment of my life.

I've seen a handful of championships from NCAA-UAAP-PBA and even the DLeague, but nothing will ever compare to this. The feeling of seeing the boys get us a slot for the FIBA Worlds was something else. And I still can't believe that I got to witness history being written in our basketball book.

The following day, was the championship match against Iran. Sadly, we didn't take the gold, but silver isn't bad either. We'll take it.To the men of our team, thank you for a gallant effort. What an incredible run for everyone. Congratulations. You fought with all you have, you fought with so much heart and pride, and for that, we are thankful to you. Saludo kami sa lahat ng sakripisyo na ginawa niyo para sa bayan. #labanpilipinas

Thoughts on Travelling

I just got home from a quick getaway trip up North with a couple of my friends. There's a certain bond formed when one travels with friends. Its something so sacred that no one from outside that group understands even if you repeatedly share it to people. Its something that you and your group only understands. The fun you had during the trip isn't merely because you enjoy each others' company. Each of you engages yourselves with activities you thought you could never do and in the process creates a certain experience that you end up sharing with one another. It is these moments that binds you closer. The thing with a trip out of town with your friends is that you create an experience designed just for the people in that trip. That is what makes every trip different, because at the end of the day, the trip is always remembered by the shared moments you've had.

What you choose to show other people isn't exactly the same as what it really is. We have the tendency to pretend, to over shadow things not because we're afraid of what kind of judgement we'd get but rather its easier to live up to what people expects you to be.
It doesn't say though that we live according to what other people think we should be, but its simply making things easier for us. Standing tall in our own persona is one thing but having to explain ourselves everytime is another.

So see, no one has the right to judge us because people rarely see who we really are and sometimes, if odds are stacked against us, people would only choose to see what they want to see.

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My friend of 8 years showed me a copy of the first ever palanca letter that Ive given her 8 years ago. At that point we weren't that close yet. We preferred hanging out with different people but maintained friendship within the same group.

Funny how after 8 years, all the things I said still stand true but on a much different scale. After 8 years, we found each other growing up together experiencing life in different ways and yet we've been each others' support system all the way.

I maybe very reluctant in labeling people my friends but I've been so blessed that when I do so, they really are friends that I can grow old and grey with.

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There are so many thoughts running through my head and I could only hope to engage myself in some intelligent conversation and pick on somebody else's brain as it happens. But as it turns out I am within the 4 walls of our house, echoing my thoughts. How I wish I have my person, the way Haley had Lucas and Christina have Meredith. To have a person that I can annoy with my take on things and would never even one bit judge me. Im slowly losing sanity as I am stuck here and the only thing I hear is my own voice. Oh to be able to trust another human being a part from myself.

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Ignite the fire.
Pursue the passion.
Leave your mark.
Change lives.

On Philpop :)

There are moments in our lives that could never be expressed in words. Philpop Finals Night was one of those in my book.

That night was something else. Having witnessed the process to get there was such a privilege. It was indeed a celebration of OPM. Philpop advocates local writers to produce more of our own sound and culture and the finals night showcased just that. You can feel that there's just too much pride and hope for our own. Just as much as we listen to the foreign sound, may we not forget what is ours. These songs defines who we are, these are our stories. It is with much pride that I can say that the sound of the future is going to be really beautiful.

I have been blessed to be a part of this years team. I was given the opportunity to know the people behind the song, the interpreters and songwriters alike. These people have so much talent and each has a beautiful soul. It was so much fun getting to know everyone. I was even heartbroken myself that some of them didn't win. But I would like to believe that Philpop is more than just winning, its about touching lives and making a difference. At the end of the day, OPM wins. This year, boundaries were pushed and great harmonies were made.

Kudos to the whole team for this year. From the adjudicators down to the final set of judges, the music video directors and everyone behind each of the songs. Here's to a great year for Philpop. Onwards to 2014 :)

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PhilPop Part 2

Here is Part1. 

So its 1 week until the Finals Night and I think its about time to write about Philpop once again. Its been hell of a crazy couple of weeks. The album is picking up quite well. There's a good response to the songs. It is crazy how I enjoy reading through various comments about this years song selection. With last year as my basis, I'm happy with what I am seeing. Nakakatuwa lang talaga yung acceptance ng tao this year. I always believed that it is as much as the finalists as it is the interpreters. So kudos to the whole team for each of the songs. Way to make your mark guys.

You can also check the stories of each of our finalists here! 

And while I am at it, continue voting for your favorite song for the SMART Peoples Choice Awards. 

One of the more interesting things that happened the past couple of weeks was the production of the music videos. 12 music videos, 6 different teams, 2 weeks. Each shoot was distinctly different. Each shoot had their own stories. Each video was approached differently. Each has its own flavor. Its amazing how I initially saw them on paper, and each coming to life, is something I prolly one of the highlights for me. You should see how good the videos were made.

You can watch all the videos here!

1 more week. I'm super excited for the show on Saturday. It is the culminating of this years competition. But more than that its a celebration of OPM. Earlier today, I got to see a part of one of the production numbers that we will have, and I am telling you, it is going to be amazing. I can't wait to witness the whole number!!! Saturday will not be a finals night, it will be a concert. I swear it will be a feast for your ears!

Counting down to the the Finals Night begin.

Until then.

There's nothing I hate more than when people ask for help and when help is there, you'd completely ignore it. You don't know how much trouble the other party had to go through for you. You asked for it anyway so at least have the decency to acknowledge the help.

There is a beauty in looking forward to something. It affirms that at this particular moment, you are doing something of your life. There is no better feeling in the world than expressing yourself in ways you feel most comfortable in. Sharing a piece of you. There are a few things that a person can control, only a few aspects you can have an influence on. Its somehow a responsibility of yours to make sure you make the most of it. You can only go as far as your feet can take you, and you could only hope that the little steps of yours create a multitude of something bigger. There really isn't much expected of anyone. We are all just asked to live our lives and roll with punches and become eventual winners of the little battles we go through. All the additional baggage we feel, we bring to ourselves. Remember the little things that you do are never really little, because it is in doing, that it becomes much more than a thought, more than an act, it eventually becomes something of us, a part of us.

This is making me think long hard. Am I cut out for this? I definitely hope so. Lets see how the next few days will turn out. But if this is the 'answer' to my prayers, then by all means, I'm ready to jump and enjoy whats next. I have never enjoyed something as geniunely as I did the past couple of days. :)

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What happens next? What happens after all of this is done? Questions I've been repeating to myself endlessly for some days now. No one really knows. But what comes next, I have this to thank for.

Its amazing how I can be a witness of dreams unfolding right before my eyes and I can't wait to see mine happen to. Just give me time to figure out what next to do, what my ultimate dream really is.

Today, I wrote again. Trying to re-direct myself. Hopefully it helps. Hopefully, by the time all of this over, I know the next step.

Thank you for this 'break' that I get to see the importance of going after what you want and the happiness that fills you, when the things you only used to dream about and your reality is just one and the same.

Today, I realized that theres still so much I hold back.  Too many emotions that needs to be released. Too much and anger and spite. Then, I just realized that its not me that has been depending a lot on people, its them that does. And its gone for too long now. And it frustrates me more than anything. For someone that wants to just always be doing something. Good one, self.

If only I could feel less.

If only I could be more.

If only.

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Happy 22!

Despite things not going my way most of the time the past year, there are still more reasons to be thankful for. The past year has just given me a clearer idea of who I am and what I want to be. There are people in my life who have continously shown me how beautiful life is and how fulfilling living your dream could feel like.

There have been moments of frustration, doubts and fears but at the end of the day, there are more reasons to celebrate and just enjoy life. One thing I learned from the past year is that life is all about your perception towards it.

Now that I am starting a new year in my life, there will be more challanges and at the same time more oppprtunities for me to push myself further and become a better person. May this coming year teach me how to be more patient and trusting, fearless and courageous and most importantly trusting and faithful. May this year also be another year where I could share more of me to other people. I pray that this year will be a year of hope and visions coming to reality.

With this I dub my 22nd year as the year of 'conquering fears and realizing dreams'

Really excited and looking forward to how 22 will feel like! May you (yes, to whoever is reading this) stick and hang around with me as I experience all of this! :)

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PhilPOP Experience Part 1

This post is just part 1, because I feel that there'll be more thoughts about this whole experience. 

A few weeks ago my friend asked me if I could help out in adjudicating for this years set of Philpop entries. I  was more than happy to do so. I haven't been that pre-occupied in such a long time, so it was indeed a good break to have. Plus I already felt that it would be so much fun, but seriously I had no idea of what was going to happen.

The whole adjudication process took 6 days and had 4 rounds. For the first 4 days the adjudicators, had to trim down the 3,383 entries down to the top100 for the next round of adjudication.We only had short breaks in between just to rest our ears, clear the mind and stretch a little, grab some food to eat and back to work. It was like a system that was slowly creeping on each of us. We didn't even notice the time, we relied on what page we were and what song number we were listening to, to track down how long have we been in it. And oh, for the person with ADD, I had to sit down for hours, trying to contain myself as much as possible. One of the more challenging things I had to deal with, ever!!!  

For the first two days we were divided into 2, so we could cover more ground. I was part of the second group which can I just say, is such a great crowd to be with! We all started a little tensed since everyone was trying to measure how each of us 'work' . But as time progressed or should I say, as more songs were played we got the hang of it, we became a lot more comfortable with each other and had an actual system working for us, the feel became more relaxed and that was when the fun really started. Sadly most of what happened had to remain in the 4 corners of the room. 

On the third and fourth day, the groups were merged. Double the fun, double the pressure as well. The future of these songs are in their hands. Once it didn't make the cut, the chance of being in the top 12 were also gone. And it is amazing how this group of adjudicators were able to listen and single out the entries and pick those that really had the best potential in them and the future looked promising.

The following day, we also had to go through the same process to cut the top 100 to top 30. I have to say though that there were surprise entries in there and it was a pleasant/ welcome surprise. On our last and finally day we finally had to let go of some of the good songs, to have the top 12. If only we can squeeze everyone in the 12 and if only rules were followed from the very start!!! 

Since we're at the topic of the Top 12 now, can I just say that I'm so happy that some of my personal bets made it! Some of them have been my bet from the very start as in when I first heard the song while the others just grows on you after awhile. There were also songs that we wished we met the composers just because of how interesting their songs were. This top12 is as good as it gets! I, who have heard it for at least thrice already still wants to listen to these songs over and over again, its how good these songs are you'd definitely want more!!! These songs have this certain appeal and charisma that got them to the top. I can't wait for everyone to hear the full songs, and who will be interpreting which song. Anyway, here's the snippets of the Top12 songs who made it. Enjoy and take your pick.

Philpop Top 12

Going in this whole thing I personally didn't know what to expect and how to deal with these people. Singers/ songwriters/ producers is super out of my league, and most of them are way older than I am. I needed time to warm-up but once we started at it, boom. I personally thought that we weren't only able to accomplish the task at hand but we were also able to form friendships in the process and I guess that was the best gain in this whole experience. I super enjoyed the 4 days that I was having problems letting go of them, even days after. Yup, I even went to the 3rd round adjudication even if  I wasn't supposed to. Ganun ako kaexcited for the results and ganun din ka-attached at the same time. But what I loved most about this experience was how I saw the top 12 unfold. How in the sea of thousands these songs stood out and spoke to their listeners. Its amazing how these12 songs excite me. You know how when you see a baby grow up and you feel elated that you witnessed a part of it, that's how I feel towards them. I could still remember our reactions when we first heard some of these songs and it makes me happy that even more people would be hearing it. For now we all just have to wait and see what's to come in the next couple of weeks. 

Its ironic how I am surrounded by this much talent and yet there isn't even a single cell in my body that could sing. Life catches you off guard in the most unexpected time with the oddest of people. I came in only having to assist in the adjudication process not realizing the possibility of having new friends and gaining so much knowledge in the process. It may have been just 4 days but the whole experience is worth carrying around for always. There is no length in creating new friendships and the memories built within those moments always lasts. And this really is the beauty of life, the life changing surprises it showers us with. And yes, I do miss listening to their noise and the rush those 4 days had with them. This one is really for the books! Team Philpop!!! :)

Will write about the whole experience later. For now, let me reminisce on those 6 days! 

I catch myself going back to that moment. When nothing else existed but you and me. Replaying our conversation in my head. Loving every minute of it. I hope one day, we get another chance at it. 

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There are moments that I'm afraid to share because it might lessen the value of the memory.
It was definitely one them. 
Whatever happens, it was all worth it. 

You

Its often too hard to find yourself in this world, to find your place. We often get caught up with the hustle and bustle of things, with the demands of the society we live in. But we need to find our little corner in this big place. We need to have a place where we can always get back to and be ourselves. We sometimes let the world consume us that we forget who we really are. Before going out battling in the world, go in first, know your strengths and weakness like any warrior does. Work around it. Its not always facing the battles head on, but its more on learning how to face it. You can only be victorious in a land of temptation when you are sure with the weapons you are using and with the way you play the game. It may frustrate you that you are not this and that, but isn't it more important that you are YOU. Accept yourself for who you truly are. Embrace it. Then let the world see the warrior that is you.

Easter means hope. And just like Christ' rising from the dead, may we find it in our hearts to learn the true meaning of hope. More important than Christ's birth is His rising from the dead. We are victorious because of HIM. We are given new life and may we find more meaning and purpose in it. May we live it the way, Jesus did, in service and with a heart full of love and complete faith in His Father.

I hope everyone had a blessed and meaning couple of days.

TSP :)

The other day I finally got the chance to watch Teen Saint Pedro The Musical. Imagine they started staging September 2012 and I only saw it last Wednesday, March 27. What kind of a friend am I?!?! :))

Snippets from the play

Saint Pedro's life reminded me again of a life that is lived according to God's will. How he willing said YES to his mission is something I'd always pray I could be able to do on daily basis. Despite being in the YFC community for the past 9 years, its always a struggle for me to keep saying YES to God's missions and plans for me. To trust God of His plans for me. I know it sounds ridiculous but I believe that we, as a people have a tendency to be over-controlling of how our lives should be. Its hard to just follow what God wants us to do without knowing whats to come. Its really putting our faith in Him that He has our best interest and He always does. Saint Pedro died on his mission in Guam serving and being loyal to God, at the age 18, it is seldom to see teens with as much faith like his. I pray that one day, I could have a faith like His. Unfaltering despite the odds. Serving with so much love.

After watching the play, I reflected on my faith in God and how often I say YES to Him. How evident He is in how my life turns out to be. At a time where I am confused most of the time. I pray for God to enlighten me, on what's best for me. Relationship with God is all about communication. His love his manifested not only on YES-es but also on diversions God throws at us.


I might have stalled watching this musical and now I know why, because there couldn't have been a more perfect time but now, when I am starting to pick my pieces up and understanding my faith and myself even more. It is also an absolute perfect time to reflect about God's love, what Jesus' death means to us and our personal faith in the Lord.

On a last note, it's always nice to go back to one's roots. And this time its YFC :)

I love these girls! More than friends, we are sisters :)

03102013 | One Esplanade

Because for every sunset, there is a tomorrow in the horizon. 

Life is being such a tease right now. On some days, its really good and on others it leaves me confused. I'm just thankful that there are still days, that I can slow down and say thank you, because despite of so many things going on, I am slowly finding my way out of the slump I am in. 

Letting go is never easy, especially of something you've always wanted for so long.

It is a process, it takes time and a whole lot of effort. 

But it is only in letting go that you could be able to see other opportunities for you.What else you might like in the world that offers you every bit of everything.

Chasing after your own happiness, is as much of a process as it is of letting go.

You have to go through a bit of sadness, a bit of heartbreak and even a bit of disappointment.

It will be painful and at the same time worth it.

Letting go gives you that, the satisfaction of the little pain and the chance to be happy.

The other day, I was beating myself up because I couldn't seem to form decent sentences for my cover letter. I've been work-less for a long time now, and to find something that I really really really want, I wanted to make sure that I give them the best impression of myself  but not overkill it. I had to really look back to what's written in my CV just to make sure that everything I write down do make sense once they evaluate my application. This is when I realize how hard it is to want something really really really bad, you'll not settle for good enough. And going through this process was the only time that I knew for sure that it is what I see myself doing years from now. Its nice to have that moment of clarity, its helps you put certain things in proper perspective. Remember, the only way to enjoy success is to work really really really hard for it and at it.

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Friendships just like any other is a 2-way street. You can't be friends with someone who doesn't want to be yours. You see, in any relationship there is, give-and-take, which helps you both grow in the relationship and as people. Once you feel the other is slipping away, you feel wary and try to talk things over and work some things out. Friendships just like relationships should never be forced. It should come naturally for two people who genuinely enjoy each other's company despite your difference. So if you feel like you give way too much with you not getting anything back, maybe its time for you to start re-thinking your relationship. Never be blinded by the label of 'friend' or 'being friends with', because really, if you love yourself, you have to get away from your toxic relationships. Even if you're friends with the richest and most powerful, that wouldn't matter if you don't get enough of the relationship. Not that you should be asking for anything but sticking with those that takes you for granted, makes you look at yourself, lesser than who you truly are.

Remember the people closest to you, influence who you become. Make sure you surround yourself with only the people who can make you better.

I haven't written anything here for quite some time. I exactly don't have anything to share anyway, but I felt that for the past few days, life has been good. It continuously gives me reasons to smile and look forward to a new day and just be happy. It may not be how I exactly want it to be at the moment, but surely, I can say that everything will eventually fall in its proper place and for now, I just need to remind myself that I am blessed and that good things are bound to happen.

Attracting positive thoughts for positive outputs :)

Saw this in the mail tonight. It was nice to receive handwritten letters but it was better knowing that I have a friend that I could count on, despite time and distance, someone that will never judge and someone that believes in me and inspires me to be better and go after the life I deserve.